I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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