i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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