Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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