where am i from again
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
