i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
