Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
