come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
