and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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