I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
