btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
