Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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