Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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