How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
