i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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