Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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