yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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