Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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