seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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