just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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