Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
