walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
