Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
