spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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