winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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