you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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