am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
