I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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