3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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