why do cheetos always look like penises
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
