So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
