Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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