eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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