you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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