So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
