I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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