Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
