quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
