Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
