haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
