if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
