Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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