why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
