Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Randomize
