Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
