we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
