is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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