Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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