sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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