Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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