There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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