Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
