they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
